Avoiding Rejection

Being ignored or overlooked when you really want to make a connection with someone can hurt deeply. Chances are, it's probably happened to most people at one time or another. If you like meeting new people but afraid of being rejected in the process, here are some advices that you should take.

Not every response you get is a judgment of who you are – It's possible the people you are meeting are not ignoring you out of meanness. Sometimes, people might seem uninterested when they are actually distracted, stressed, or even tired.

Ignore rude people – If people are rude to you on purpose, they're probably not great people for relationships.

Do not anticipate rejection – Show your interest towards the other person before beginning a conversation. Some people may fail to notice that you are looking to engage them. You might feel rejected, but they may not realized that you're interested. Aside from shaking hands, use eye contact, ask some friendly questions, and positive body language.

Do not come out too strong – People might perceive you as overwhelming. If you're working to gain approval from every person you interact with, people might sense that and feel uncomfortable or pressured.

Relax – Do not feel so emotionally invested in every interaction. It's hard not to care what people think, but maybe you could try to worry less about it.

Have humor – It can help diffuse tension, and it's good to remind yourself that you are a great person. Even though it may sound and feel hypocritical, try to be upbeat when you feel down. Focusing on negatives isn't likely to accomplish anything.

Seek common ground – Sometimes, parties or bars can add social pressures or distractions that make connecting harder. Maybe you would have more luck if you tried meeting people through a club or organization, a volunteer projects, or a sports team. Having an activity to engage in together might make the interaction flow more easily.

Overcoming Shyness

It is often very stressful to date or even try to date when you are shy. However, being shy is basically being afraid of rejection. You can transform yourself from the shy type to the confident person that you should be. The more confident you look, the better response you would get from people.

Stand straight – When standing, pull your stomach muscles in. Your spine would naturally align and your back is straightened. An erect stand is a sigh a confidence. Practice doing this in front of a mirror until it starts to look natural.

Do not cross your arms – The way your body poses tells something about yourself. Crossing your arms while sitting or listening to another person is a sign that you are defensive and shy. This can be stand-offish at times. Learn to avoid this mannerism to give your confidence a boost.

Make eye contact – When meeting people, it is best to look straight at them, focusing on the eyes and face. This does not mean that you are supposed to stare at their eyes, which can look frightening. Keep in mind to make your eyes “smile” by keeping a positive attitude when talking to other people.

Make the first move – Stand close enough to the other person to strike up a conversation. Catch their eye and smile briefly. If they smile back and make a direct eye contact, they are open to talking. Striking up a conversation first may be difficult at first, but would get used to it once more people talk to you and slowly building up your confidence.

Make yourself safe to talk to – When you meet someone you are interested in, be curious about this person. Ask open-ended questions (those that does not end on a yes-or-no answers) and create conversations out of mutual interests to keep the talk going.

Give a compliment – If you do not know how to start a conversation, a compliment is always acceptable. Make a truthful and personal compliment at the other person. However, steer clear from the obvious body parts and instead hone in on detail. Say something that make the other person proud, such as his or her laugh, positive attitude, or confidence among others.

Watch other people's reactions – You can tell if the other person is interested to you by the way he or she reacts towards you. If the person is happy to continue chatting with you, their smile would get wider, they would move closer and lean towards you. If they don't instantly drip with enthusiasm, don't worry because other people get nervous too.

Ask people out one after the other – A brief coffee or lunch usually works best for a first date. Start by chatting the the new person about the activity you are both participating in and then casually ask if the person would like to get together some other time.

How to Develop a Sense of Humor

A lot of girls look beyond the physical attraction in finding their ideal man. Besides, what's the use of good looks if you can't enjoy with the person? Sense of humor is vital in developing a great date, and eventually a great relationship.

When people come across with people with a good sense of humor, people tend to feel comfortable with them and find it even easier to approach and converse with them. Sense of humor builds much-needed rapport and a certain level of trust.

But just how does one develop a sense of humor? Is it something innate or that can be learned? Read these great tips to find out.

Create your own humor library – Start by collecting humorous and light-hearted books, comics, and even DVDs of TV shows or movies that give you a healthy laugh. You can use these either as tools to help you lighten up and get de-stressed, or as references when trying to woo your date with funny (and not cheesy) jokes and one-liners.

Visit the library everyday – Refer to your humor library everyday to build up your sense of humor. The fact that you are laughing at some jokes is a good start. Visiting the humor library is more essential before your date in order to eliminate any stress or nervousness that you have accumulated lately. It is best to go on to your date with a happy mind and a laughing heart.

Surround yourself with people who make you laugh – Do you have a funny relative, friend, or neighbor? Then hang out with them more often. The people around you could influence your personality. Check out your local area if there are “laughing clubs” that you can join. Getting laughter and humor from other people somehow enables you to share that laughter to others, especially your date.

Enjoy at least 10 laughs a day – We don't count our laughs by the number of “ha's” we can create in a laugh, but on how many times we have a good, hearty laugh. It is recommended that we should have at least 10 laughs a day not only to develop your sense of humor, but to have good health as well.

Poke fun at yourself – Self-effacing humor, where you tend to poke fun at yourself, can also signify to your date that you are a relaxed person, that you do not get angry easily in times of stress. However, it is best not to do too much of it during your date, as your date may not find some of the qualities you are making fun off as attractive.

Basic Kissing

A simple kiss can actually have different meaning. It could be friendly, romantic, affectionate, or passionate. What's important is that every time you kiss, you have to make sure that it is satisfying on both parties.

But before you pucker up your lips and start learning about the art of kissing, it is best that you learn some basic guidelines as your first base.

Kissing more than just touching lips – Kissing doesn't not only entail the touching of each other's lips. This experience actually involves touch, taste, and even smell. The touching of lips stimulates you and your partner's nerve endings, sending sensations throughout the body, not to mention couple's tendency to caress each other. A great kiss should also be void of bad breath and other distracting taste that you may sense. So before kissing, make sure that you popped a breath mint and offer it to your partner as well.

Practice first – You don't just go into something that you have absolutely no idea about. Before going on a date, it is best to practice how you should kiss to avoid embarrassment on your part. You could start with practicing with an inaminate object, kissing your hand, playing with a lollipop or eating ice cream on a cone. Also, consider watching romantic movies and see how couples kiss.

Expect a kiss, so be prepared beforehand – When you are on a date, or when your partner is about to approach you, expect some lip locking to ensue. Before that happens, make sure that your teeth are brushed, your mouth is clean, and your lips are moisturize. However, don't be too obvious about popping a mint or applying lip gloss as your date goes for a kiss. A little “bite and lick” on the lips would do just fine.

Look before kissing – A passionate kiss begins with an intimate stare into your partner's eyes. Gaze for a few seconds before closing your eyes. Then, lean forward and let your instincts take over.

Remember to pause – Once you have landed a soft kiss on the lips of your date, hold back a little. Relish the sensation it makes in your body, think about how it makes you feel good. Look into the eyes of your date for a few seconds, then close your eyes once again as you lean forward for a longer, more passionate kiss.

Keep your lips slightly parted as you kiss – Kissing with your mouth closed is not cool. It makes your lips stiff and it certainly looks “one-way,” even rude. Also, make sure that your lips are soft, moist, and warm as you kiss.

Keep your body in flow – Doesn't it fell awkward when you and your date bump heads while kissing? When kissing, open up your body by putting your hands on your partner's back, hips or shoulders. Also make sure to keep the distance close, and tilt your head as you go for a more intimate kiss.

A perfect kiss is firm, but tender – To make this trick work, imagine yourself softly eating a mango as you kiss your date. Approach the kiss with a little force from your mouth. Pout your lips as you close them, then open them again as you continue kissing.

Kiss with genuine intimacy – A kiss is something that you cannot fake. You may say that you are attracted to your partner, but the kiss says otherwise.

Dealing with Fear of Intimacy

The fear of getting intimate does not only have to do with the fear of holding your partner's hand or the uneasy feeling when he or she would rub your skin. It also involves dealing with co-workers, family members, friends, and even yourself.

Signs that indicate that you probably have a case of intimacy anxiety include the following:

• Getting busy all the time.
• Pointing an accusatory finger outward, judging other people instead of looking within.
• Displaying anger or hostility towards other people.
• Use of cutting and sarcastic remarks that are supposedly meant to be humorous.
• Being sexual yet closing down connections or chemistry.
• Adopting a superior attitude.

How do you know when to move past the fear and open yourself further into the relationship, or when to use your fear as a signal that being intimate in your relationship is not very wise?

How to French Kiss

When you're ready to French kiss, lean toward your date with your head tilted slightly to avoid bumping noses. Men may put wrap their arms around a date's waist; women may wrap their arms around a date's neck.

Make eye contact as you lean toward one another but close your eyes as the lips meet. Inadvertent eye-contact mid-kiss can be quite awkward.

As you lean in for the kiss, have your lips parted ever so slightly and inhale through your mouth to heighten the senses and to avoid breathing on your date.

Allow your lips to brush against each others to create light, feathery kisses. Keep the tongue in your mouth initially.

As the kiss warms up, allow your tongue to flicker onto your date's lips. Don't let your tongue linger - keep the flickers quick and gentle.

If your date responds in kind, let your tongue extend back toward his or her tongue. Keep the movement light and gentle - tongue wrestling is a no-no.

Breathe through your nose as your tongues touch playfully and sensually.

Remember, fresh breath is essential. Avoid smelly foods (garlic, brie cheese, corn chips, coffee) beforehand. Freshen up with a mint or gum, making sure to dispose of the gum before kissing.

Knowing What Attracts You

Everyone has a list of qualities that attract him or her towards another person. Most of the time, we have a pre-determined checklist on what we want in another man or woman, only to realize later in life that there are other qualities that attract you more. Here are some ways to determine your ideal love partner criteria.

Make a list of what you want – Write down exactly what you are looking for in the opposite sex. Make a list of the most important characteristics and qualities you are looking for in a partner. Start with the physical qualities and then work your way into the more detailed aspects such as education background, personality, etc. Bear in mind that this list is not permanent, as we tend to realize that there are other qualities that attract you while other aspects that used to attract may not be appealing at all.

Make a list of the qualities that attracted you from other people – Write down the people you remember you have been attracted to during your life. It could be past relationships, family members, celebrities among others. Next to each name, list down all the things you remember liking about that person. Knowing what characteristics you like in a person would prepare you better in searching for that ideal partner.

Make a list of what you need – With a trusting friend or relative, have him or her list down your personality qualities as honestly as possible. Then, list the qualities opposite yours. From these “opposite” qualities, circle those that you think would make you a better person. For instance, the one you need could be your source of strength and motivation to complement your lack of drive.

Making A Successful Blind Date

Blind dates can be nerve-wracking. You have probably read some horrible blind dates on the web or, worse, on TV. But having a blind date doesn't have to be that bad. It is supposed to be an exciting way to meet new people to hang out with, or even end up on a relationship with. So don't feel frustrated, as here are some useful tips that you need for that successful blind date.

Prepare yourself
First impressions always last, and it's really important to create that good impression on your blind date. How your date sees you within just minutes of meeting you sets the stage for the entire date. That is why you should first give importance to your appearance and grooming. Remember, you only have one chance at that first impression, so make a good one.

• Select clothing that is appropriate for your date. Select a casual get-up for a lunch date or going to the movies; or put on something more dressy when planning for a nice dinner date. Also, do not wear clothes that are too revealing, strange, or over the top
• Get a new haircut or hairstyle, which is most advisable a day before the date. For women, it is best to have your hair styled at the salon several hours before meeting your blind date.
• Wear an ample amount of perfume or cologne. Do not overdo it though.
• Don't forget to shine your shoes and iron your clothes if needed.
• Most important, arrive early. Showing up on your date late can affect your date's impression on you.

Keep yourself safe

Even if blind date can be fun, you should never let your guard down.

• Consider a public place for your date venue like a restaurant or a park. In that way, you would feel more relaxed in getting along with your blind date.
• Make sure that a friend knows where you will be and at what time. Also, tell your friend the name of your date.
• Carry a cell phone with you at all times. Use it to call emergency when needed.

Keep your first date short

A simple short date is a great way to meet someone on a blind date, especially if you are meeting someone for the first time. If you do not feel the connection or chemistry with your date, you can simply make an exit right after. However, if you are interested, you can stick around some more or arrange to meet up again in the future. Some recommended options for a short date include meeting up for coffee, a drink date in the evening, or a lunch date during the weekday.

Keep your schedule flexible

Make sure that your first blind date would not coincide with other concerns such as work, especially if you are planning to make your date longer. Flex your schedule with additional activities with your partner such as going to the movies, dancing at the club, or joining a group activity such as yoga classes.

Be polite

Whether the date goes well or bad, being polite with your date creates a mark on your personality.

• Greet your date with a handshake upon meeting with him or her. Starting it off with a kiss may send the wrong message.
• Smile, even if you are nervous.
• Be a gentleman. Open doors, hang up her coat, pull out her chair. Even today when chivalry is a dying trait among men, it is best to provide respect to your date.
• Women should always be thankful. Be grateful after he opens the door for you, thank him after he pull out a chair for you.
• Be polite even when you are about to leave the date if you feel like it isn't going well. You could tell your date that, for instance, you have to leave early because you need to work right after. However, if your date seems to be working, just “scrap” the plan and stay on with your date.

Be yourself

One of the biggest mistakes that people make on a blind date is that they try to be someone that they aren't. Just be honest and be yourself. Answer questions honestly and talk about yourself without exaggerating facts. Remember that your date wants to know who you are, not who your date wants you to be.

Talk and listen Conversation is extremely important in making your blind date a success. Ask about your date's career, family, even about his or her friends. Remember to keep the topics light, aiming at getting to know more about your date. Also, let your date talk and you should listen. Show an interest to what he or she is saying. Don't forget to talk back and create a conversation, or else it would become a long and boring date.

What you should talk about:

• Ask about your date. What does he or she do for a living? Which state or city was he or she from? What are his or her interests and hobbies?
• Ask about your date's family and friends. Is your date come from a tight-knit family? What does his or her friends do when they go out?
• Talk about yourself. What your date has revealed about him or her, tell to your date about your side as well. That keeps you from revealing too much about yourself, but you could tell more about it on your next date.
• Compliment your date. If he or she is well-dressed and well-groomed, compliment about it as soon as you meet your date. Drop compliments (don't invent them though) every now and then during the conversation. However, stop complimenting once your date feels uneasy about it (but that rarely happens).
• Discuss about movies, TV, and music. Ask your date if he or she likes to watch movies (or TV, music) and know his or her favorites. Make a connection on your common favorites. If there aren't any common favorites, just say what you like.
• Open-ended questions. Stimulate the conversation by asking questions that do not end up with a “yes” or “no” for an answer. For instance, if your date revealed that he or she is into tech gadgets, ask what would be his or her dream gadget to own.

What you should NOT talk about:

• Do not discuss past relationships. The purpose of a blind date, or any date for that matter, is to search for potential partners and not to weep about your each other's exes. If your date asks about your past relationships, just tell him or her of how long your most long-term relationship lasted.
• Do not talk about religion and politics. People will always have different opinions about these topics, and most of the time they would not agree. Arguing about your date's stand on topics like abortion or gay marriage is definitely not recommended.
• Topics that do not interest the other person. If you have an interest that your date finds unusual or boring, stop talking about it. For instance, if your date feels uninterested about your passion in Rubik's Cube, then look for other topics that both of you feel favorable with.
• Do not ever say anything that would offend your date or anyone else. Being mean and inconsiderate does not make a good impression.
• Do not monopolize the conversation. Remember that conversations are supposed to be two-way, so don't forget to let your date talk and listen to what he or she would say.
• Do not cross-examine your date. Asking too much about your date's particular detail would make him or her uncomfortable as you are stepping into the bounds of privacy. For instance, do not ask too much about your date's virginity after he or she revealed that your date hasn't had any sexual encounters.

First impressions do not only focus on your appearance, but also on the way you communicate both verbal and non-verbal. Your date may scrutinize your tone of voice, the words that you use, and even how your body reacts. As we said before, just be yourself. Do not be to stiff, instead you should relax and react appropriately. Also, don't forget to keep your eyes on your date, not on others around you. Another good body language is to face your belly button towards your date, an indication that you are interested to him or her.

Check for warning signs

Even if you are not supposed to enter a blind date with bad expectations in mind, you should keep an eye out of some warning signs that your date would not be a good partner.

• Your date wears a wedding ring, even if your date claims that he or she is divorced or widowed.
• Your date talks about past failed relationships. This is an indication that your date is not open to entering a new relationship or is anticipating for another bad relationship (and would talk to his or her next date about your relationship).
• Your date speaks badly about his mother or exes. This especially applies to men who tend to bad-mouth about other women, especially their mothers or ex-girlfriends. If he ever does this, it means that he would most likely disrespect you as well.
• Your date does not offer to pay. Although men are dictated by etiquette to pay for the first date, the women should at least offer to pay for their share of the meal.
• Your date is directly rude at you. Once you notice that your date is either rude or even making fun at you, end your date as soon as possible.
• Your date is rude towards waiters. This is a good indicator on how your date treats other people, including you (even if he appears to be nice towards you).
• Your date drinks a lot. If your date is drinking excessively during your first date, it is most likely that he or she would do it more often and could even destroy your relationship.
• Your date does not pay attention to you. It simply means that your date is uninterested. If you feel that there is no connection or chemistry between the two of you, end the date as soon as possible.

Ending the date

Success:

• If you meet your date at his or her house, take him or her home. If you do not have a car, a cab will do.
• If you meet your date at a public place, volunteer to take him or her home. If your date declines, offer to hitch a cab for your date.
• Be thankful to the other person.
• Tell you date that you want to see him or her again. A good indicator of a successful blind date is if the woman offers her phone number to her date.
• Kiss or hug. How you do it depends on the situation, although it is best for the man to “feel” if the woman “expects” to be kissed.

Failure:

• If you meet your date at his or her house, take him or her home. You could at least keep your politeness towards your date.
• If you meet your date at a public place, offer to hitch a cab for your date.
• Be thankful to the other person, but indicate that both of you do not have a lot in common.
• If your date asks for your phone number, politely decline.
• Hug your date, especially if the date ended mutually. If your date was a total failure (arguments, signs of rudeness), shaking your date's hand will do.

How to end your blind date depends if it is a success or a failure.

Speed Dating Tips

Speed Dating can be a great and easy way to meet available people in your area. However, because this procedure is relatively new, it requires a little extra attention to detail. We have compiled some great tips to help you get the most from your evening.

Choose your speed dating event wisely – It is okay to turn down speed dating events that are too publicly advertised or take place in a bar that is known for its wild antics. More often than not, this type of heavily-promoted speed dating venture puts you at risk of having an audience gawk at you while meeting potential partners and that could be very uncomfortable. Always check out the venue before you attend an event to make sure that you are not part of a public spectacle. Safest venues for speed dating include those being held in a church or community venue.

Set some expectations – Speed dating may be a great way of meeting many different people, but that doesn't mean you'd be having a string of dates after this. Just let the event (and the attraction) take its course.

Dress well – Even guys should heed to this. Speed dating is all about first impressions, and the well-groomed and fashionable tend to get the more positive scores.

Let them know you are interested – If you like your date, use your flirting techniques. Give your date some eye contact and occasional friendly touching. Use your date's name often.

Prepare your questions beforehand – Have a number of stock questions ready. It may take only a few minutes, but it's better than saying nothing.

Avoid telling lies – It might seem like a good idea at the time, but holding on to the lie that you are a brain surgeon or a ballerina would backfire if you meet again.

Avoid swearing excessively – You also be turned off on a sight of your date saying bad words, so should you be avoid using expletives in your conversation.

Avoid talking overtly on controversial topics – Just like in a normal date, do not talk about politics and religion in your speed dating. Not only it might result in unnecessary conflict, it would be highly unlikely that you date would be interested anyway.

Be careful what you eat – Your date would probably not enjoy seeing you gorge on noodles. Stick to small, non-spicy food that you can share with your date.

Avoid getting too drunk – Sure you need a shot of alcohol or two to erase the tension in you, but drinking too much is not flattering on a person, multiply that with the number of speed dating attendees.

Always fill out the scorecard after each rotation – Whether you like your date or not, write your marks on the card before meeting the next person. There is nothing worse than getting to the end of the night and pondering about what is the name of that special guy you just met.

Don't let your guard down – Observe basic safety guidelines when meeting matches. Make sure that you are meeting in a public place, you told your friend where you are going, and don't give out your home address too easily.

Give your e-mail address on your prospects – Although it may be tempting to give out your digits, e-mail contact is safer—and more fun—to start with.

Use the break time to chat and meet – Some speed dating events allow daters to roam around the place after the event. If you feel that you made a fool out of yourself on someone you like, don't be scared to make an approach later for a second chance.

Relax – Anxiety in potential partners is one of the biggest turn off. Don't be nervous and just be yourself.

Suggestions for a Creative Date

Here are some creative ideas to get your dates started and spice your relationship as well:

A night under the stars – Try taking your date to a planetarium and view the constellations from a telescope or watch the starts whirl beneath the dome? Or you could take your date to somewhere private, like your garden or a beach, then lay out a blanket and candles, and enjoy an evening together watching the stars in a real sky.

Amusement park – Bring out the child within your partner by treating him or her to cotton candy, rides on the Ferris wheel, and fun shooting games.

Mini-golf – Playing a “mutation” of the gentleman's game is silly, fun, and exciting at the same time exciting. The relaxed pace of the game encourages conversation and lots of laughing.

Comedy club – Liven things up with an evening of stand-up comedy at a local club. This is a great suggestion for a first date as you can tell a lot about a person by what material amuses him or her and what material seems corny or offensive. Take note, if you don't want to be picked on by the comedian, try sitting a few rows away from the front.

Zoos and aquariums – Animals appeal to people's sense of romance, as well as a sense of humor. This is also a good suggestion for a first date as observing the antics of animals has a way of breaking the ice.

Skating at a local rink – Follow this up with some hot chocolate and fun conversation in a cozy café.

Zen Dating – Relax with your date by taking him or her to a meditation or light-working session at the local Buddhist temple. Relax afterwards with a good meal in an Indian restaurant.

Psychic sessions – Visit your local psychic together to have your palms and tarot cards read. You can even get a past-life reading to see if you have known each other in a past incarnation.

Art tour – Spend a day together visiting local art galleries and museums. Make sure you visit the gift shop of the museum to buy your date a token that expresses your appreciation for him or her.

Mazes and labyrinths – If your city has a maze, see if you and your date can get lost together inside it. Walking a labyrinth together is not only said to be good for the soul, but it will help you define your goals together.

Cooking class – Sign the both of you for a cooking class and have fun feeding each other's delicious tidbits.

Feng Shui date – Visit your local Chinatown and hunt for lucky charms, wind chimes, and small statues to bring the two of you good health, wealth, and happiness. Finish you shopping excursion with a meal for two at a Chinese restaurant.

Dancing lessons – Enroll the two of you in dancing lessons and try intimate ballroom dances like tango and rhumba. This is especially nice for seniors on a first date who wish to break the ice.

Play in the snow – If it is snowy outside, take advantage of the weather and build an ice sculpture or snowman together. You can also ride on a toboggan together and slide downhill—holding each other, of course. Finish the day with steamy hot chocolate or apple cider in front of the fireplace.

Love letters – Buy special paper and pens. Make a date by writing love letters in front of each other. Once done, exchange the letters and read them out loud. Torrid romance almost always ensues right after this one.

King or queen for a day – Assign a date where you will treat your lover as a king or a queen for that day. Your date will not have to lift a finger while you meet every demand and errand he or she commands. This package should include a foot rub as well as serving your date's favorite foods.

Sunrise date – Surprise your date by calling him or her early in the morning and asking if he or she want to meet to watch the sunrise with you. Drive to a beach or some other beautiful location and simply watch the sun rise to the horizon. Afterwards, share a brunch at a restaurant.

Top 20 Speed Dating Pick-Up Lines

Speed Dating is all about asking questions and answering them with all honesty. Instead of the cheesy “What's your sign?”, how about trying these ten questions you can use in your speed dates that would really bring out the best in your date. In random order now...

1. What are you most passionate about
2. What kind of movies/ music/ TV shows do you like?
3. What do you do for a living? (note that you should not divulge you company name)
4. What have you learned from your past relationship?
5. What do you consider your best attributes?
6. What makes you laugh?
7. What is the most adventurous thing you have ever done?
8. What is your most memorable moment?
9. What time in history would you like to be born and why?
10. What's the most reckless thing you have ever done?
11. What would be your ideal holiday destination?
12. What are the most important thing you look in a person?
13. If you live anywhere in the world where would it be?
14. Where do you see yourself in 3 years time?
15. If you won the lottery how would you spend it?
16. If you could grant 3 wishes, what would they be?
17. What are the three things you would take with you on a deserted island?
18. What song best sums you up and why?
19. What do you do for fun?
20. If you were to star in a movie, what kind of film would it be and who would be your co-star?

Of course, you can make your own questions for your speed date. Just remember that you are asking your date in such a way that it brings out his personality.

Conversation Topics for First Date

Your first date with a woman can take a lot of time to overcome your shyness and get to know each other. One way to break the awkward silence is to strike up a conversation with her. However, what exactly should we talk about? Are there any topics that we are not supposed to discuss with a prospective partner?
You don't need to be an expert conversationalist when following these tips. All you have to do is to take note of the following and you will be just fine.

Avoid talking about her past – Never ask about past lovers on a first date. In fact, this should be avoided until she initiates the topic herself. Remember that your lady date may have been hurt from her previous relationship or may still be in love with her ex. At the same time, you also prefer to start with a clean slate. That is why becoming chummy and comforting her about past mistakes may not the be wisest strategy on the first date.

Discuss about siblings – A safe topic of conversation is asking about siblings (brothers and sisters, just don't ask if her sisters are cute). Asking about her parents could backfire, especially if they are divorced or separated when she was at a young age. Talking about her sisters and brothers usually trigger good feelings and score player points for you since you are showing a caring side and an interest in her family life.

Ask about her travel experience – A tricky way to spark a girl's interest is by asking about her past travel destinations and where she intends on visiting in the future. If she mentions a spot that she always wanted to visit, consider offering her to take her there with you, provided that you share insights about each other's cultural background and your openness to new adventures.

Talk about foods you like – If the date is taking place at a restaurant or bar, talking about the kind of food and drinks each of you prefers. Not only can you gauge whether or not you share culinary preferences, but the potential topics are endless and provide you with a safe topic of conversation.

Discuss about career plans – Asking a girl about her past education and whether she intend on returning to school can be a double-edged sword. She may love to go on and on about her numerous academic achievements, but at the same time she might break down and admit that her current job has absolutely nothing to do with what she studied. Either way, you could just reassure and encourage her with an abundance of compliments (not too much though).

Talk about her work – If both of you are ages away from college, then try talking about work and career goals. Do not let her go into the mundane details about how fed up she is with her life. However, people like to brag about their work, no matter how routine it is.

Ask about her friends – Even if you don't know them, she would gladly tell you about her circle of friends, how much they mean to her and where she met them, as well as all of the things they did together. Listen intently on this one, as you might get important details about her. If you manage to meet her friends several dates afterwards (considering that the two of you are still an item), they are usually the best source to unearth the skeletons in her closet.

Ask about her hobbies and interests – Is she into roller blading? Stamp collecting? Cross-stitching? Dancing? How about sports? What kind of music does she like? These types of non-intrusive personal questions determine how much of a bond exist between the two of you. Besides, this could gain you some insights to follow-up questions.

Talk about activities you could do together – This is a great topic if she is having a good time and her body language is positive. Look ahead and talk about other things that you could do together in the future. Of course, you don't want to go too far ahead and scare her off. However, if she is enjoying herself, chances are that she would be

Keep talking – Ask her a lot of questions, but remember to listen to her answers and form new questions around those. Don't forget to have your say as well.

How to be a Flirt Master

In dating, being yourself is not enough. Like how animals show off towards the opposite sex during mating season, humans also tend to show certain actions to indicate that they are attracted towards another person. This is the art of flirting, and you don't have to be a movie star-look a like to make the guys (or girls) go gaga.
For women, the key is to look approachable enough for men to feel comfortable in taking a risk. Meanwhile, men should showcase their masculinity. Here are the essential flirting techniques that you should take note.

Smile – This is the most basic, and absolutely the most effective tool, of flirting. Psychology and body language experts agree that one of the most important things you can do to make yourself more attractive is to show off those whites. Although normal smiling can do wonders, singles usually smile wider when flirting. If a lady locks eyes and smiles at a guy for more than three times in an evening, chances are that she's interested.

Eye contact – We tend to look into the eyes of people we are attracted with, as it is a universal sign of openness. An effective way for a woman to make use of eye contact is to lock eyes with the person she's flirting with for about five to six seconds, then smile and drop her gaze. Remember that looking at his eyes is different from staring at them. This technique involves smoldering, come-hither looks. Do this stare-and-look-away technique at least three times in a ten to fifteen minute-period so that they would send a message to a guy that it is him you're flirting with.

Preening – We tend to preen or groom ourselves subconsciously when we're attracted to someone either by smoothing down our hair or clothes, checking our lipstick in a compact, or straightening a tie. Try combining a groom gesture with a smile and a gaze. Women should also toss their hair to one side. Not only does it suggest grooming, but also exposes their neck.

Red lips – Men and women are subconsciously attracted to red, moist lips because they signal youth, sex, and fertility. The color red has been known to increase a man's heart rate. For women, wearing a red lipstick is a must. Not only it gives the lips that youthful color, but also makes the smile more visible and your teeth whiter. Adding a coat of super-shiny lip gloss makes the lips look moist and kissable. Meanwhile, men can also put on some lip gloss or try licking their lips (make it subtle as to avoid being misinterpreted) or biting the lower lip.

Women crossing their legs – Crossing and uncrossing the legs is another surefire flirting technique for women, especially if they are wearing high heels. The act of crossing the legs is quite seductive to men, as it makes them desire to see more. Another seduction trick using the legs involve s slipping a heel out of one shoe and dangling it on the toes. The arch of the foot sends a sexual message and mimics a woman's curves.

Women showing off their neck – One of the most effective flirting technique a woman can use is to expose her neck. This is done in different ways, from tilting the head to one side, flipping the hair, or glancing over the shoulder.

Men squaring their shoulders – Women are attracted to more dominant men, so men should stand tall with their shoulders back. For men who have always touted as the “nice guy” or appear to be too submissive to attract women, try wearing bulkier or more conservative hairstyles and clothing. Hold the head up, speak a little faster, and make gestures more assertive.

Men showing off their social status – Men assert themselves when they flirt with women. Not only do they correct their posture, but they also push the assertiveness a little further by showing their social status by, for instance, showing-off cash, speaking about their occupation, and displaying their car.

Feet placement – Subtly make yourself a safe and approachable target. Women should stand with their feet no farther than 6 inches apart with toes pointed slightly inward to make them approachable. Meanwhile, men should appear more dominant by standing with the feet 6 to 10 inches apart with toes pointed outward.

Mimicking – People mirror each other's body language when they are attracted with similar gestures, voice volume, etc. Try subtly mimicking your flirting target's behavior. For instance, if she leans forward, you lean forward as well. Mirroring someone's behavior makes your potential date feel as though the two of you are connected and in-tune.

Deepening the attraction – Once you and your flirting target have started talking, fortify your flirting to deepen the attraction. Smile and maintain eye contact as they are speaking, and focus all of your attention on what they are saying. Nod in approval to signal that you're listening to what the other person has to say. Smile or laugh at the right time to put your potential date at ease. Another flirting technique while talking is low-level touching like bushing the shoulder or elbow.

Making the First Move in a Conversation

How you present your self in a date is not just on the looks and the moves, but also on how you talk. A good conversationalist presents his or her personality and intelligence towards the date. However, starting a conversation with someone you have just met is not always easy. Here's our guide to making contact and some tips on taking things further.

People like to be flattered – Try to pick something unique about them and bring it up in the conversation. This would grab their interest and give them something to talk about when they reply. For instance, “I see that you have a great taste for Italian wine. I love wine. Do you know that they have a good selection of wine here?”

Make the person laugh – Whether in the pub or online, humor is a great icebreaker. Use it to bring a smile to their face and let them know that you are fun to be with.

Be interested – Listen to what the other person says about himself or herself, barging in to prevent your date to talk too much. This also applies to you, as you are not supposed to rattle about yourself too much.

Give compliments – Do not be afraid to use compliments to win over your potential mate. However, do not overdo it as too much is not good.

Plan the next step – If you decide that you want to take things further, it's time to ask for a phone number. Remember to keep safety in mind. If the person doesn't feel comfortable giving you his or her pone number, you could suggest giving yours.

Speed Dating - Advantages

There is a new way of dating, and you could get to know a lot of different singles in the process. It's called Speed Dating, a new mating sport that is being played in bars, clubs, and community centers in North America and Europe. If you get invited to join a speed dating event and you don't have an idea what it is all about, then you have come to the right place.

Dating and playing at the same time – Speed Dating can be described as a cross between a job interview, a blind date, and a game of musical chairs. Participants get four to eight minutes, depending on where you are playing the game, to meet scores of different potential partners. With speed dating, you can meet as many as 25 people or even more.

A hybrid of online and offline dating – You get to meet a number of strangers within the safety of a friendly and merry environment that is policed by the organizers. At the end of the night you can ask a partner for a date, but a date only takes place if the other party is in agreement.

Does not put you into embarrassment when rejected – In most speed dating games, most communication is written or concealed from the potential dates. A big plus is that it spares singles the face-to-face embarrassment of turning someone down.

Ideal for busy people – Speed dating probably best suits busy careerists who would benefit from meeting as many people as they can within a short period of time. This includes busy individuals such as lawyers or performers who have had no time for pursuing romance simply because they have spent a decade or so focusing on education and then launching a business. Speed dating also suits health professionals and individuals who work off-hours, such as waitresses, shift-workers, and health professionals. Speed dating is ideal for those who always find themselves working the traditional date nights such as Friday and Saturday night.

Ideal for those who look for serious relationships – It is understood that these functions are for individuals who are looking for a long-term connection. If you are sick of the immaturity or addictions that come hand-in-hand with people you meet in bars and clubs then this might be a more efficient way to meet someone who is not intent on wasting your time with their emotional problems.

What you see is what you get – This also will appeal to those who have become frustrated with the anonymity and long-distance aspects of online dating. There is no false advertising such as lying about one's age or weight allowed.

Lets you see if the two of you click – The problem with blind dates and personals is that they do not satisfy a very crucial requirement needed in order for two people to hit it off and see each other again: physical attraction and chemistry. Speed dating allows you to meet in person and see if the two of you create an instant attraction towards each other. You are not required to waste time that you would meeting someone on a blind date.

Speed Dating - How to?

Like in any other game, speed dating has its own rules that you should follow. To begin with, the event is usually advertised and singles that want to participate gather at a café or bar. Each player is given a nametag (either containing your real name or a screen name) and a scorecard.

Each date is timed – A timer that allows you to spend a fixed amount of minutes (ranging from four to eight) with each companion rules the game. When your minutes are over, a bell is rung, signifying that all players should shift to the next seat to meet the next person.

Discussion is fairly open – Usually you are allowed to discuss anything with the potential partner except your real name (if applicable), your job, and where you work.

Mark each date on the scorecard – Following each introduction, participants mark on their scorecard whether or not they would be interested in having a real date with the other person. Make sure you don't let your date see you scores.

After the game – Once the speed dating ends, the organizers check the scorecards and match up which partners have mutual interest in each other. In some versions of speed dating, only the women are given the phone number; while in others, both the woman and the man are given the number to follow up on for a date.

What to do on a First Date?

If you get yourself a first date—especially from someone you knew before—the first thing that you should consider is how to make it so good that your date would want to see you on a second date. However, it doesn't take too much stress to prepare about it. Remember that a date is all about knowing the other person better and treating him or her with respect. Check out our list to see what you should consider.

Choose the right outfit – Wearing provocative or inappropriate clothing risk making the wrong impression. Although your date may be familiar to you, your revealing or flashy dress could mean that you are trying too hard to impress him or her. Wear clothes that are appropriate to the venue, and at the same time your date would be familiar with.

Do not wear too much perfume – Just because you still couldn't smell the perfume from your body doesn't mean that you don't have enough of it. Apply the perfume on your pulse points such as behind the ears and on the wrists, and you're ready to go.

Consider to meet at a public place – Even if you are dating someone you know, it is best to meet him or her at a public place such as a park or a restaurant. A public place provides safety and security.

Prepare a plan – If you are familiar with your date, you should have an idea of his or hers likes and dislikes. Create a list of activities that you and your date would both love to do. Why reserve a table at an expensive restaurant if you date prefers to have a picnic by the park? Also, don't forget about your date's eating habits and allergies, or previous injuries when considering a physical activity such as football passing.

Men should still practice chivalry – We may be living in a new century, but men should still take care of women. He should open doors for women, pull the chairs for her, and letting her order first. When playing sports with your woman, make sure to be gentle—and also let her win.

Listen – Ask question and show (not pretend) that you are interested to what your date is saying. The reason why you should not pretend to be listening because your date might end up talking more about him or her rather than making it a stimulating conversation. Among those topics that are great in date conversations are work, hobbies, books, music, movies, and sports. Do not talk or ask about politics, religion, and especially former relationships.

Look at them in the eyes – Eye contact spells out your interest and attention towards your date.

Have fun – Remember that the date should be fun. Bring laughter into the conversation by bringing out your sense of humor through jokes. Make every activity light and happy. However, if you see that your date isn't laughing at your jokes, don't tell another one.

Asking Someone Out on A Date

If you like someone and want to know them more, you may have to ask them for a date. This is a standard practice for men, and it is increasingly becoming common among women. If you have someone in mind that you would love to go out with, breathe deeply and follow these guidelines.

Ask yourself first – Know why you are asking them out and if it is for the right reasons. Recognize your expectations as a result of them saying yes or no.

Saying no is a possibility – Be prepared that the person you ask may say no. If this happens, do not take the rejection personally and do not chase them as well. They maybe thinking of things and get back to you with a “yes” later.

Choose the right moment – See to it that the person you are asking is in a light mood. At certain instances, do not approach them when they are stressed out after work, while eating, or while with a group of friends.

Practice what you should say – Don’t think of the cheesiest pick-up line imaginable. A simple “Hi! My name is…and I was wondering if you are free for lunch today?” is enough. Practice what you might say in advance so that you don’t appear tongue-tied.

Avoid asking them out while drunk – You may think that taking a shot before asking would boost your courage level, actually it’s not. It would backfire, too.

Prepare the place, date, and time, in advance – Before asking them out, be sure that you already have an idea where and when your date would be, just in case they say yes. In this way, you are showing that you are thoughtful.

Create a sense of trust immediately – If the person asks you why you want to date them, flatter about his or her personality. People can be wary and may want to know some reason behind your request. You can say, “I have always thought you are great fun…”

Do not pressure them into saying yes – If they want to think about it, let them. But don’t chase.

Smile – Bring out your positive personality. Be confident and happy to elicit a far more positive response.

Prepare for an alternative schedule – If they are unsure about their schedule, or your proposed date schedule conflicts theirs, provide a different date and time or location.
Intend to go on your date – Standing people up is a definite no-no in dating.

Budget-Friendly Dating Ideas

With a little resourcefulness and imagination, you can plan dates that are fun yet very inexpensive. After all, you do not need to dine at a formal restaurant, watch a musical, or attend a concert if you and your date has a connection and chemistry towards each other. Here are our suggested activities that would impress your date even if on a budget. Remember that you could do some of these on the same day, making your date more enjoyable.

Rent a movie – You can watch movies (or even TV series) on rented DVDs. Add some sodas and popcorn, then you are ready to dim the lights and cuddle up.

Get a drink – Take a trip in the city and visit a decent bar to have some good drinks like a margarita or martini (even beer, if your date is into it). With a few drinks, your date would loosen up and have some deeper, more intimate conversations.

Have a cup of coffee – If you and your date are caffeine lovers, a chat at a coffee shop can forge your connection towards one another.

Walk in the park – Every city has a great park to stroll around and indulge on its numerous activities. Walk around its beautiful scenery while holding hands, or you can have a picnic and enjoy your lunch on the grass. If your city is located near the sea, try walking on the beach and get some tan.

Nature walks – Some communities have hiking or nature trails. Your outdoorsy date would surely love to see the breath-taking nature views.

Exercising together – You don't need a gym to stay fit if you and your partner like to jog or walk around. You could even do some partner exercises on the park.

Tour your own city – Enjoy the sights and sounds of your very own city. Even smaller cities have something to behold. If your city has a local billiard hall, amusement parks, skating rinks, dance halls, or a comedy club, give them a visit.

Local events – Check out your local newspaper for upcoming events that you and your date could participate such as fairs and public parties.

Bike ride – If you and your date are into biking, why not go around town riding your bicycles (or even on motorcycles)? If your date does not know how to ride a bike, try hitching him or her with you—be careful though.

Miniature golf – Spending the day outdoors and engaging in relaxing and enjoyable activities make great yet inexpensive dates. Playing a round of miniature golf is fun and engaging, especially if both of you do not have any golfing experience. Do not worry about making mistakes or missing some shots, you could just laugh it off.

Eating ice cream together – Bring out the child in you once you see an ice cream truck. Buy two cones and eat some ice cream with your date.

Cook dinner at home – You can plan a romantic meal without the hefty price tag. Shop for necessary ingredients beforehand and spend the night cooking and eating the meals that you have created. If you can't cook, you can either buy take-out meals or have them delivered into your home.

Board games – Playing board games, especially with kids or some friends, stimulate group activity. You could even play against each other and show off your competitive side without any physical contact.

Explore flea markets – You and your date could find some great items at your local flea market. You could even exchange gifts right on the spot.

Eight Ways to Meet New People

Finding a date basically starts with meeting new and interesting people, and in doing so you have to get out and make yourself available to new acquaintances. It's highly unlikely that you would find a hot date while sitting on your couch watching TV or playing video games. Problem is, meeting new people is a battle between confidence and shyness. If you really want to start meeting some new people, try making an effort to go out often.
Aside from going out of the house, here are eight more ways in meeting up with new people, and possibly a new date.

Go to a place that interests you – If you enjoy reading, try visiting the local library. If you are into physical sports, consider a sporting goods store. If you like art, then going to a museum is for you. In doing so, you are most likely see people with the same interest as yours. If you found a hot prospect—like a reader planning to borrow a book that you've read or when
someone is having a hard time choosing the right running store—be bold and approach them. Use your knowledge of the interest as your conversation icebreaker.

Join a volunteer group for a cause that you support – You would meet many people who feel passionately abut the same cause and would instantly have something to talk about. Aside from which, these cause-oriented groups often organize several projects and joining different committees that would allow you to not only help out the group but also meet a variety of new people in the process.

Join a local recreational sports league – Most major cities have leagues available where you can sign up as an individual and fill in on a team that is short a player. Even if the sport is not co-ed, just remember that your teammates may have sisters or female cousins.

Attend religious services – The service itself may be an hour long and does not make you interact with people, but religious groups often participate in a variety of other activities and are usually form committees for these. Signing up for one of these committees affords you the chance of meeting new members of the congregation on an individual basis.

Be involved in local politics – While it may be a touchy subject since many people may have extremely different opinions from yours, you are also likely to meet many people who share opinions similar to yours.

Going to a bar alone – Nightclubs and bars have always been a great place to meet new people, but going there alone—without some friend who would distract from your intentions—may make you meet more people than you would expect.

Attending a wedding or a party – Just because you don't have a date doesn't mean you have to pass up on these events. Consider this as going in a bar, only that you know a lot of people there, and they may bring along friend who would be introduced to you.

Party Dating

If dating one-on-one makes you feel bored, then try raising the ante by party dating. It is a great way to meet new people, meet new singles, and find new friends. All you have to do is take your friends along—or try going on solo—and go clubbing while establishing your social network among fellow party revelers. Party dating is safe because such parties are in public places, there is always a crowd, and you are not on a risky blind date.
Here are some cool and creative suggestions on having fun with your party date.

Browse around – Singles party abound in your local area just at any given day, especially during holidays. Check out the party scheds through the Internet or through local newspapers.

Wear what's in for clubbing – Remember that interacting with other singles in a club require first impressions, and what you wear in a dance hall is not exactly what you wear on the street. Club wear can vary from sexy to deconstructed clothing, depending on your mood and your personality. Check out clubbing magazines or watch dance music videos for some inspiration.

Try wearing a costume – Costumes are not limited to Halloween. You can put on a cool get-up in the club and be someone that you fantasize about, like a flight stewardess or an angel. Being the only one in costume, that makes you stand out among the crowd and more people would notice you, and possibly get to know you. If you're going out with friends, try wearing identical costumes.

Dancing skills are not that important – Since most clubs and parties are crowded, you won't get to move much. What matters is that you know how to move to the beat of the music.

Have a few drinks – Take a few shots of alcohol just to loosen you up, but still sober enough to carry a conversation with a hot prospect.

Be friends with all – Don't mind if another girl dances with a guy you find cute, or when someone you don't like says some sleazy one-liners. You don't want to ruin your party mood just because of them. If you want to reject someone, be polite about it.

Don't take recreational drugs – People may say cool things about E or other substances, but better judgment would make you avoid them.

Never go out with a stranger – Even if you get to know some hot guy, that doesn't mean you trust him enough to go somewhere else. Nothing beats asking for his phone number and calling him several days after, then go out on a one-on-one date that's more fun than ever.

Creative Ideas for your First Date

In dating, the first few dates should be the most enjoyable because this is where you are building that first impression. The following suggestions on putting an added pizazz on the first date should come in handy.

An element of surprise – When inviting your date for a second date, don't tell him or her where you are going. Instead, try blindfolding your partner until you reach the surprise destination, such as a picnic laid out for two in a park or a living strewn with rose petals. This not only tickles your lover's fancy but also adds an air of excitement to the date.

Get quirky – Dating is not limited to renting a video and falling into bed, or eating at the same restaurant everyday. Think of ways to entertain your lover such as renting costumes and holding your own theme night, complete with food in your apartment, or try taking up dance lessons.

Emphasize on mutual interest – Try to remember which interests brought you together in the first place. It's not fun to watch a football match if your girlfriend who is with you is completely bored watching the game. If you are both interested in art, then try something artistic and fun like pottery. If you love animals, how about a trip to a zoo?