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Saturday, June 30, 2007

Avoiding Rejection

Being ignored or overlooked when you really want to make a connection with someone can hurt deeply. Chances are, it's probably happened to most people at one time or another. If you like meeting new people but afraid of being rejected in the process, here are some advices that you should take.

Not every response you get is a judgment of who you are – It's possible the people you are meeting are not ignoring you out of meanness. Sometimes, people might seem uninterested when they are actually distracted, stressed, or even tired.

Ignore rude people – If people are rude to you on purpose, they're probably not great people for relationships.

Do not anticipate rejection – Show your interest towards the other person before beginning a conversation. Some people may fail to notice that you are looking to engage them. You might feel rejected, but they may not realized that you're interested. Aside from shaking hands, use eye contact, ask some friendly questions, and positive body language.

Do not come out too strong – People might perceive you as overwhelming. If you're working to gain approval from every person you interact with, people might sense that and feel uncomfortable or pressured.

Relax – Do not feel so emotionally invested in every interaction. It's hard not to care what people think, but maybe you could try to worry less about it.

Have humor – It can help diffuse tension, and it's good to remind yourself that you are a great person. Even though it may sound and feel hypocritical, try to be upbeat when you feel down. Focusing on negatives isn't likely to accomplish anything.

Seek common ground – Sometimes, parties or bars can add social pressures or distractions that make connecting harder. Maybe you would have more luck if you tried meeting people through a club or organization, a volunteer projects, or a sports team. Having an activity to engage in together might make the interaction flow more easily.

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