Given below is a scanned copy of a letter written by a guy to his Ex-gf in a district of India, as published in a local newspaper. I wonder where they found it from. Since its written and published in Hindi, i tried translating it for our English readers, but had to give up after the first few lines. Those who can read it, its a treat for them; a bad luck for them who cant.
Sunday, July 8, 2007
A Letter to an Ex-GF
Posted by BB at 8:26 PM 0 comments
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Saturday, July 7, 2007
Love Quotes/I Miss You Quotes (Part 1)
.๑ღ..¤»Missing someone gets easier every day because even though it's one day further from the last time you saw each other, it's one day closer to the next time you will !....๑ღ..¤»
..๑ღ..¤»I dropped a tear in the ocean. The day you find it is the day I will stop missing you !....๑ღ..¤»
..๑ღ..¤»Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell !.... Where Evr U R.. Wat Evr U R Doing .. Plz Cum Bak S00n !.. Lubb yeww !...๑ღ..¤»
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Thursday, July 5, 2007
Questions To Ask Before Marriage
1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?
2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?
3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?
4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?
5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?
6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?
7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?
8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?
9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?
10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?
11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?
12) What does my family do that annoys you?
13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?
14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?
15) Do each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?
Common Sex Myths
Period sex is safe sex – The popular belief is that if a couple has sex during the female’s menstruation period, she can’t get pregnant, since the period disposes off the woman’s egg and the next one is far away. However, this myth is false because the sperm can survive in the vagina for up to seven days, and an egg can survive for three. If the woman has irregular periods and ovulates closer to her period, the egg and sperm transit times get crossed. In a normal 28-day cycle, ovulation occurs two weeks before the next period. So, unless the couple knows the woman’s cycle very intimately, they should not play with fire.
Withdrawal contraception works – It is reasonable to assume that if no sperm is deposited in the female, she won’t get pregnant. However, all men have some pre-ejaculation fluid, which contains little live sperm that will wiggle their way up to the egg to fertilize it without too much trouble at all. This happens whether or not you pull out before you ejaculate.
Homosexual fantasies make one gay or bisexual – Our society is still fairly homophobic. Because it is reasonably new thing to have to deal with, it can be very confusing for people to have homosexual fantasies. In reality, we all fantasize about playing around with another man or woman does not make you gay; it actually makes you curious. Acting on fantasies is different than just having them and only you will know the real story. Homosexual fantasies aren’t really talked about for fear of being labeled as gay, and that is not about to change. If you are unsure of your sexual orientation, speak to a professional counselor or sex therapist.
Penis size matters – Everyone always goes on about big penises and how great they are. A big tool is a sign of manliness. If a man has one, he is undoubtedly the envy of any man with a penis that is even slightly smaller. However, sex does not only involve the penis. Every man should take time to learn to figure out how to work their penises and the rest of their body to the best orgasmic advantage. A couple could use different positions to make love and have a greater chance of hitting the right spots. The clitoris, G-spot, and entrance to the vagina are a woman’s hot spots, but do not forget that some women do not orgasm by penetration alone. Also, a really huge penis can be very painful for women because it hits the cervix. The best way for men to ensure a woman’s sexual satisfaction is to get really good at other things, like oral sex and using your hands.
Women always need tons of foreplay – Since the sexual revolution, men have been criticized for not giving their lovers enough warm-up time. But sometimes, when having spontaneous sex, it is totally acceptable to just get right into it. Also, some women need very little foreplay and they should tell their man whether they need more of it or less of it.
Women want multiple orgasms – The rise of the sexual revolution perpetuated the belief that sex is all about the satisfaction of women after so many years of the opposite. But just because women can have more than one orgasm doesn’t mean they want more than one. One is usually fine; two may be great, but any more than that could push the boundaries of wear and tear, and boredom as well. Unless the woman wants it and asks for more, after one or two, she probably feels kind of like men do after they finish: tired.
Orgasms are the be all and end all of good sex – We are trained to believe that the point of having sex is to have an orgasm. The orgasm is often the first question that gets asked when someone relates a sexual experience to a friend. In reality, good sex is good because both people have a great time, not because both are totally physically spent by amazing orgasms. Having a mind-blowing orgasm can be great, but they do not define fabulous sex. If any one misses out on the orgasm it is usually the woman, which is bad news if the man makes a habit out of it, but not essential for a good session. Women do not enjoy fake orgasms. Of course they want real ones, but they also want you to know that sex can be good without them—sometimes.
Men can’t have an orgasm without ejaculating – Men are just as capable as women are of having multiple orgasms even without ejaculation. It’s just that it is more difficult to attain it. There are a couple of methods: One is by effectively blocking the ejaculation fluid from escaping by holding the base of the penis just before ejaculation. The other is by erotic prostate massage. An orgasm from massaging the prostate is far more intense than a normal orgasm, and is felt throughout the entire body. The best way to experiment with prostate massage is to buy a specially-made sex toy.
Men don’t have a G-Spot – Both men and women have their own G-spots. In the case of men, the G-spot is actually the prostate gland. Unfortunately, it is a little more difficult to access than a woman’s because it can only be reached through the anus. A finger is inserted in the anus, making its way to the direction to the man’s bellybutton, until it feels a lump about the size of a nut. Stimulating the prostate in this way is also very healthy because it floods the prostate with fresh blood that contains plenty of oxygen and nutrients. If you have sexual dysfunction or prostate problems, this procedure can really help.
Ejaculation affects athletic performance – It is an old Eastern philosophy that ejaculating drains the male body of its “life force,” bringing down its testosterone levels. This “life force” gives men energy, and testosterone gives them more aggression. The myth pertains to logic, but the reason you feel sleepy after ejaculation is because of the chemicals that are triggered during the ejaculation process are sleep inducing. Regarding the lowered testosterone levels; scientific studies have found that having sex actually increases testosterone levels. In fact, three months of abstaining makes a man’s testosterone levels drop to that of a child’s, which does not bode well for the increased aggressing or energy necessary for the edge in some sports. Overall, if you want to do it, go for it. If you find it affects your performance, just don’t do it the next time.
Smaller breasts are more sensitive – There is a scientific fact that on average, human breasts receive the same amount of sensory neurons regardless of their size. The logical conclusion would be that, due to its density, smaller breasts are more sensitive to touch. The truth is, breast—particularly the nipple—are sensitive the majority of the time for most women. The sensitivity of the breast morphs throughout her cycle: at some points her breasts will be larger or smaller, tender, sometimes painful, and sometimes more sexually sensitive.
Men are always ready for sex – Socially, men are the demons of sex. They always want it, they never get enough, and they are always ready for it just in case some willing female happens to jump upon their path. But this myth neglects the part that men are human beings and aren’t always in the mood. Further more, men don’t always want to be in the mood. There are many reasons for men not want to have sex, including stress, illness, fatigue, and just not being in the mood. Men should not be afraid to say no sometimes, but they should make sure that they explain to their women because they will be confused. After all, women probably think that men are always ready for sex, aren’t they?
Posted by BB at 8:51 PM 0 comments
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Clearing the Myths about Masturbation
Masturbation is all about manipulating his or her genitals to the point of intense pleasure or orgasm. Although this can involve with another person, most of us think of masturbation as a very private act.
Masturbation allows a healthy way to express and explore one’s sexuality and to release sexual tension without all the associated risks of sexual intercourse such as pregnancy and STDs. It is a natural and normal mode of self-exploration and sexual expression. Ironically, after all the excitement of the moment has passed, many people find themselves filled with guilt and shame, thanks to the negative association with all kinds of sex.
But are those negative myths linked about masturbation true after all? Let’s all discuss it.
Masturbation is not real sex – People who masturbate tend to function better sexually when with a partner since they know their own body and have fulfilled sexual expression.
Only “losers” masturbate – Masturbation is a normal human activity, and it is not only done by “losers”. Jocks do it, so do cheerleaders, and—probably—even your parents.
Masturbation causes blindness, baldness, acne, hair on your hands, basically a lot of physical changes – None of these have any basis. Twisted views on masturbation passed on through generations did nothing but to deprive people of releasing their sexual tension. Why not blame those physical changes to aging?
People in relationships or married do not masturbate – Many couples masturbate mutually as an alternative to sexual intercourse. Remember that intercourse is not the only way to express sex.
Masturbation will stunt your growth – Stimulating your reproductive system has nothing to do with your growth hormones that are being developed in your pituitary gland (which is near your brain). If you want to grow, try sleeping more hours at night, since growth hormones (especially when young) only work when asleep. Or better yet, consult your doctor.
Masturbation causes sterility – This myth is commonly associated with men. Your healthy testicles will never run out of semen and sperm. If you release some semen after masturbation, your reproductive system just makes another batch of it.
Masturbation can be hurtful – Not necessarily, but your genitals would hurt if you masturbate too often. Getting irritated skin is normal unless you use plenty of water soluble lubrication next time.
Masturbation is sinful – That is something you will have to decide for yourself. But, when done in moderation—and not interfering with your school work, your job, or the rest of your life—masturbation seems to be a common, normal, and healthy way to get sexual satisfaction.
Not masturbating makes you healthier– Try not masturbating for a few months and notice some considerable changes in your body, such as irritability, difficulty concentrating, insomnia, and wet dreams.
Masturbating does nothing to the body – On the contrary, there are several benefits in masturbating. For one, it relieves menstrual cramps among women. On young men, it reduces embarrassing spontaneous erections, as well as the number of unwanted wet dreams. It also helps you battle with insomnia, stimulate the immune system, release mood-elevating hormones.
Posted by BB at 7:49 PM 0 comments
Labels: myths, sexuality, tips
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Improving Your Sex Drive
Consider circulation-enhancing dishes – Foods that are high in Omega-3 fatty acids like mackerel, salmon, and wild salmon, make your nervous system function better, which in turn contributes to good circulation. Another good food to improve circulation is chilies, which also stimulates the nervous system. A healthy blood flow means that your genital area receives fresh blood that improve sexual ability and pleasure.
Go for granola – Improved circulation also means greater erectile response. To accomplish that, go for foods rich in L-Arginine like granola, oatmeal, peanuts, cashews, walnuts, dairy, green vegetables, root vegetables, garlic, ginseng, soybeans, chickpeas, and seeds. L-Arginine is helpful for improving sexual functions in men. Although there weren't studies yet connecting L-Arginine and women, remember that erectile response is not exclusive to guys as they have erections too in their clitoris and the tissue surrounding the vulva.
Try soy – Soy binds estrogen receptors, which helps the vaginal area remain lubricated and combats symptoms of menopause. It is also beneficial to the prostate, a crucial male sex organ. However, it's important to note that women who have a history of breast cancer should not eat large amounts of soy because it increases the risk of reoccurence.
Reduce weight – Foods that promote weight loss also has libido-boosting potential. Obese men tend to have erectile dysfunction and low testosterone. Reducing weight, in turn, results in an increase of testosterone, and thus an increase in sexual function.
Have the right amount of fat – Too much is bad for you, as well as too little fat because you need it to produce your hormones. Cholesterol is metabolized in the liver and you get your testosterone and estrogen, which you need for your sex drive. Monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fats are the “good kind” of fats that your body needs. Olive oil, salmon, and nuts are optimal sources.
Avoiding stress – Medical and hormonal problems are major contributors to sexual dysfunction and low libido, as well as too much stress, relationship difficulties, and psychological issue. Antidepressants like Prozac can negatively affect sex drive as well.
Do some cardio endurance – Shoot for 3 to 4 days of cardio execise like running, walking, swimming.
Muscular endurance – Conditioning your body can be a plus for longer lasting sex. For endurance, you will need to lift lighter weights for more repetitions.
Muscular strength – Your muscles will be contracting no matter what sexual position you are in, so it pays to shape to avoid nasty leg or foot cramps. To achieve this, lift heavier weights for few repetitions.
Flexibility – This can enhance anyone's sex life by making it a bit easier to get in your favorite position with a minimum amount of fuss. Try a little Yoga or some stretches to get you in the mood.
Posted by BB at 6:55 PM 0 comments
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Dealing your Sexuality While in Abstinence
Abstinence is viewed either as not having any type of sexual experience; or not having oral, vaginal, or vaginal sex; or not allowing penetration but accepting oral sex.
If you acknowledge these feeling but choose not to have any kind of sexual contact, you can redirect this sexual energy into other activities with or without a partner such as:
· dancing or exercising
· shopping or even window shopping
· reading a book
· watching a movie
· meditating
· taking a shower
· being with friends
· having a picnic in the park
· strolling on the beach
· playing video games
· giving or receiving hugs
· holding hands with someone you care about
· cooking dinner
· dining by candlelight
Aside from these, those who decide on getting physically intimate with a partner without having oral, anal, or vaginal sex can do the following:
· giving or receiving soft , sensuous, or deep passionate kisses
· enjoying a back rub or full body massage
· cuddling, caressing, or stroking each other with or without clothes on
· slowly and sensuously undressing one another
· touching one's self in front of a partner, with or without touching him or her, with or without orgasm
· skinny dipping in a pool or pond
· taking a shower or bathing together
There are many reasons for a person to become abstinent, including religious or cultural views as well as personal or family values. Some are abstinent because they are simply not ready to have sex. It is important to think about what abstinence means to you, and then to live by that belief.
Posted by BB at 6:47 PM 0 comments
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Seduction Guide: Make Yourself Attractive
Be relaxed – Do not stress yourself. People with a relaxed demeanor have loads of spare mental capacity to make jokes, ask questions, smile, and generally be a pleasant person to be around.
Be giving – Work on becoming someone who focuses on giving to others. You can either do volunteer work or donate to charity, even both. This would naturally result in others wanting to be around you.
Be positive – No one like to be around a negative person. Attractive people have a tendency to always see the positive in just about everything. Make the best out of any situation and focus on finding solutions instead of complaining about the problem.
Be caring, both to yourself and others – Attractive people understand that if they do not take care of themselves, they won't have anything to give to other people.
Posted by BB at 6:43 PM 0 comments
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Should You Go Back to Your Ex?
Do not be too emotional about it – It is easy to remember all of the good times and totally forget about all of the bad things because you have an emotional void that you need to fill. Don't be blind and don't trust too soon. Besides, perhaps your ex wanted you back as a friend.
Evaluate your reality check – Do you have a reason to believe that thing will be completely different if the two of you decide to to get back together? Relationships can easily be compared to a plate: Once it's broken, it's hard to put it back together.
See if both of you can compromise more – Meeting halfway is a common problem in relationships, as sometime either the two of you wanting to do things his or her way. If you would remain unbending to your ex, then why should you become lovers again?
Follow your gut feel – If you have any doubts about getting back with your ex, then you probably should not.
Rememer the reason it didn't work out the first time – People rarely change. Getting back together might just make you upset a second time. Think back about the issues that you have had. Would they reoccur? Would you handle them differently?
Don't let your ex manipulate you by making promises – “I promise I'd change” is probably overused by exes. Remember to keep your cool and your emotions intact when dealing with your ex.
Get back with your ex for the right decisions – Remember that if you're thinking of getting back together just to fill the lonely time or because you are scare to stay single, you'll reduce the chances of you ever attracting someone who is perfect for you.
Posted by BB at 6:40 PM 0 comments
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Heating up the Romance
Plan your date. The rules for dating still count. Having a plan for your date will make it a success. If you are going on a picnic plan on where you will leave your kids. Make dinner reservations at your restaurant.
Create the mood. If you have babies and can't leave the house, there are still ways to create that romantic setting. Set up your dinner in front of the fireplace. Set some candles in your bedroom and have dinner there.
Get out of the house. Let's face having your date night at home doesn't make it much of a date. Being at home will remind you of the kids and other matters when you should be concentrating on your spouse.
No entertainment that requires you to face the same direction. Talking and being together is the main purpose of date night. You are each other's entertainment for the evening. Just be together. If you are going to watch a movie or a play make sure you talk to each other over dinner about it.
Don't bring the entire family. Why go out at all if you're just bringing the kids along? Date night is just for you and your spouse. Don't attend anything social.
Schedule an entire night. Tell your babysitter or your oldest child that you'll be gone an entire evening.
Dress the part. It might help the mood if you dress up for date night. You'll be able to surprise your hubby and you'll feel good about getting out of your sweats for an evening.
Play your song. This may sound overly cheesy but request the band to play your song. If your husband doesn't remember it anymore, why don't you remind him?
Eliminate any distractions. Don't bring your cell phones. Don't even think of turning on the television or answering the door.
Be creative. Instead of doing the usual dinner out why not try something new? Go boating or go to the local fair. Take a nature hike. Just focus on each other.
Date night can help transform your marriage but only if you are both in the spirit of it. Try to connect with your spouse. Make date night a weekly ritual. Date night might lead to more interesting things later on.
Posted by BB at 6:38 PM 0 comments
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How to Break Up
Acknowledge that the relationship is really over – Come to terms with your own feeling and make a firm decision to end the relationship.
Be honest – Although break-ups can be really hard on relationships, honesty salvages any possible future friendships.
Do not delay the inevitable – Once you decide to break up with your partner, think immediately on how, when, and where you will take action. Do not drag out a pointless relationship.
Select a private place – Breaking up is not a public affair. A secluded area in the park or your partner's house can do. Find or schedule an appropriate time to meet and be alone with your partner as you tell him or her the bad news.
Never break up on the phone – Not only it is rude, it also gives an impression that you took the relationship for granted.
Approach the topic when both of you are calm and rational – Never break up right after an argument (you might regret it later on). Also, announcing a break up in heated moments would just make the fighting worse.
Deliver the news personally – Tell your partner that you feel that this relationship on its current level needs to end.
Be firm and decisive – Help your partner understand why you want to end the relationship. Remember to be tactful, not brutal.
Be grateful of your partner – Remind him or her that you'll never forget the positive qualities in your relationship, but emphasize that you're ready to move on with your life.
Give your partner closure – He or she needs to accept the break-up. Answer questions and talk it over instead of leaving loose ends. Stay positive as you both make plans to go your separate ways.
More often than not, breaking up is as hard on the person ending the relationship as it is on the person being broken up with. Don't assume just because a person is breaking up with you means that they no longer care about you. Remember that caring about the person is different from wanting a relationship with the person.
Posted by BB at 12:37 PM 0 comments
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How to Tell Someone I Love You
Plan the day - Think about when and where you want to tell her. Is there a special place you want to be? A certain day? Do you want to plan something special or just something simple.
Prepare yourself - Set your mood and be romantic. Buy her flowers or a romantic gift. Prepare a dinner with candles or a picnic with a bottle of wine.
Open your feelings - Tell your partner how you feel being with them, and how much you enjoy your time together. Be specific about what you really appreciate about being with them.
Look directly your partner - take your partner hand and tell them how positive you feel about them. Tell them what are the things you really like. Be honest and sincere.
Be prepared to your partner answer - Prepare yourself mentally and emotionally for your partner response if you are not sure it feels the same way about you.
Make your partner feel special - You can show your partner that you love them by simple things like spend quality time together, cuddle in bed at night and talk together. You can also send a sweet card or email to your partner during the day.
Posted by BB at 11:52 AM 0 comments
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How To Improve Your Love Relationship
Quality time - Without quality time, your relationship will not survive. Try to have one evening out per week, just the two of you. If you have children this is more difficult to arrange – but it’s not impossible. And do try when you have this ‘date’ to avoid talking about your offspring or your work.
Security - A good relationship is built on compromise and a great deal of give and take on both sides.
Independence - Keep your dependence in balance. Tell and show your partner how much you need him, but don't strangle them, because you will make your partner feel trapped.
Communication – Women should explain, early in your relationship, exactly how to give you a fail-safe orgasm. Same thing for men, you should explain early in your relationship what do you prefer and how would you like your partner do it.
Support - Encourage your partner to listen to you, by showing appreciation when it does. Remember that most men aren't mentally programmed for conversation in the way women are. They need more silence and internal time.
Do not control - When conflict occurs, you should open to learning about yourself and your partner and discover the deeper issues of the conflict. Don’t try to win, or at least not lose, through some form of controlling behavior. When you try to control you create even more conflict.
Take care of yourself - It’s very sad that couples often stop making an effort with how they look. A small thing can transform a routine into more of an occasion.
Posted by BB at 11:35 AM 0 comments
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Knowing If the Relationship is Over
The relationship has become one-sided – A couple should compromise each other. If you feel as if you're doing all the work in the relationship, it's time to talk on amending it or break up.
The chemistry is gone – The two of you have become out-of-sync. Your conversations are not that alive as it used to be and the intimacy just doesn't feel the same.
Your partner prefers to hang out with others – You've used to the times when you dine together or having good time together, but if he or she is starting to enjoy the company of his or her friends more—or worse, with other singles—then your relationship has a problem.
The feeling of longing is gone – Do you find yourself feeling relieved whenever you part company?
You don't feel accepted and appreciated by your partner – Your partner begins to complain about things you do or quarrels with you for no apparent reason.
Your partner has become overly emotional – Your partner still loves you, but he or she has become jealous, obsessive, and even possessive about you. If you notice this, consider the extra burden you would carry in dealing with those behaviors in the coming months.
Your partner has hurt you – Any form of physical and emotional abuse is an absolute sign that you should break the relationship.
Ending a relationship is never easy, regardless of whose fault it is. If you loved your partner with all your heart and soul, it can be devastating to see him or her go. However, if you suspect that the romance has reached a dead end, do not hesitate to speak up.
Once separated, you need all the support you can get from your family and friends. Don't be afraid to cry, and don't be afraid to fall in love again either.
Posted by BB at 11:31 AM 0 comments
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Reawaken Your Passion
Plan a romantic getaway – A trip to a spa or a romantic destination can help put the passion back in your relationship. This type of trip gives the couple an opportunity to step away from their everyday lives and spend some time focusing on romance.
Treat your partner with respect – Sometimes people get in the habit of taking their partner for granted while they continue to treat complete strangers and casual acquaintances with respect. Make an effort to impress your partner to help revive the passion.
Do something new and adventurous – Try an activity that you have never done before like skydiving or surfing. Participating in an adventurous sport can make you feel more alive, transcending into your relationship.
Hold hands – This simple act draws you and your partner closer together. Most couple hold hands all the time early in their relationship, but as time goes by they begin to do so less and less often. Grab your partner's hand and hold on while you run errands can make your partner feel desired again.
Plan date nights – Spend some time getting dressed-up and plan a night out on the town. Putting this level of effort into a dinner date makes it feel much more special and romantic, plus it gives you a chance to let your partner know that you are still interested in spending time with them. No matter how busy your week is, plan to have at least one night a week where the two of you connect in a special way, even if it's just some quiet time at home after the kids go to bed or even a family game night with the kids.
Take care in you own appearance – If you feel good about yourself, you will be more appealing to your partner. Spend a few extra minutes getting ready to go out and really pamper yourself. This will give you a confidence boost in your relationship.
Compliment your partner – Noticing when your partner puts extra effort into their appearance lets them know that you still find them desirable and attractive.
Plan trips you would like to take – Spend an afternoon thinking of trips you would like to take together and make a list of all the places you want to go and all the things you want to do.
Spend some quiet time together everyday – Plan on having at least a few minute alone with your partner each day to help put the spark back into your relationship. Take time to reconnect with your partner.
Take a bath together – This is a very sensual activity that makes you both feel pampered and gives you the opportunity to reconnect on a physical level. Beyond that it can also give you a chance to relax and unwind after a hard day of work and sometimes it's the stresses of everyday life that are putting a damper on passion.
Posted by BB at 10:29 AM 0 comments
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Making Long-Distance Relationships Last
Make an agreement – Set parameters on what both of you expect in the relationship and how much of a commitment you are willing to give and receive. Be clear about what you both want is extremely important to prevent future misunderstandings and mistakes.
Keep in touch daily – Long distance relationships should not follow the motto “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” Just like in regular relationships, constant communication is needed to keep your interests towards each other alive. If large phone bills are a concern, try sending e-mails. Pay attention to how many times a week you are staying in touch as well.
Plan your reunions – Seeing each other once in a while plays a big part in keeping your relationship exciting, plus it serves you the satisfaction of being able to see and touch each other occasionally. It gives you the opportunity to catch up on each other's lives in person and to be able to share physical and intimate activities together, which will fulfill both of your needs and desires.
Reaffirm your love and commitment to one another – Try not to assume that the relationship is thriving. Listen to your partner's concerns and communicate your own before they become bigger problems.
Keep your partner informed about your life – You may live separately, but sharing information about your activities and friends is still important.
Trust each other – Trust is a major necessity if you wish to have your relationship from a distance. Without trust and honesty, the relationship is in for danger, just as it would be in any other relationships. Suspicion over your partner would only break the relationship down.
Keep the relationship a high priority – Avoid canceling reunions or putting off phone calls.
Set a limit of your time apart – This is a wise thing to do if you do not want to end up waiting forever. There will come a time when you and your partner will have to start planning a serious future, which can only happen when you are living in the same area.
Posted by BB at 9:27 AM 0 comments
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Signs of Cheating
If you sense that your partner is cheating, you'll have to start paying attention, as she'll likely cover his or her tracks better than a practiced thief. Here are several signs that your boyfriend or girlfriend might be spreading the love around too much and, while they may not at all imply that he or she is in fact cheating on you, serve as a warning that something is amiss with your relationship.
Loss of sex drive – Unless your partner has been in intense stress from work, then a sudden loss of interest in sex may indicate that your loved one is getting it elsewhere.
Defensiveness – A cheating partner usually feels bad deep inside him or her and this guilt can come out through being defensive or placing the blame on you. Examples of defensiveness include when your partner refuses to answer even the simplest and fairest questions, only answering them only after repeating them back to you, or when your partner would question your queries about his sudden change of schedule. You should also look for signs of aggressiveness from your partner.
Too much excuses – This may sound too obvious, but comments about needing to work late, having to take a business trip, or needing to unexpectedly meet with a client, can all be signs of cheating.
Telephone hang-ups – There would be times that your partner's new liaison is bold enough to call your home number. If you answer the phone, the caller would hang up, but not if your partner answers the cal. Watch out for frequent hang-ups.
Showering you with unexplained gifts – Besides defensiveness, your cheating partner may try to throw you off track by being extra nice. Flowers, chocolate, and other gifts that are given on ordinary days could be a sign of cheating.
Your partner detaches from your family – The fact that he or she no longer wants to attend family functions or hang out with your friends may be indicative of “cheater's remorse.” He or she may feel guilty enough about cheating as it is, and having to face your friends and relatives may be just another painful reminder of those sins. The less time your partner immerses in your circles, the less mental anguish he or she will have to endure.
Your partner begins to point out your every flaw – Gone are the days when the two of you could communicate with such harmonious precision. Lately, every sentiment you express would set your partner off, as he or she finds any excuse to last out at you.
A mysterious friend inches his or her way into the picture – Whether it's someone she claims is a co-worker, or an old friend from “way back,” your partner keeps this friendship under wraps and is hesitant in sharing any general details about them, much less introduce you.
You feel a shift in your partner's daily priorities – Suddenly, there are no more implied Sunday dates at the movies, or something always comes up on your dance class. There is a tendency for most philanderers to schedule meetings with their new flame as often a they can, resulting in a complete disregard for previous engagements.
Your partner's sudden change of style – Remember that just as you tried to impress each other in the beginning of your relationship, so too will your partner have a sudden urge to improve his or her fashion style, or alter physical appearance for the other person.
Your partner slowly breaks away – A big sign that something has gone awry comes when he or she becomes more autonomous. Your partner doesn't say “we” anymore, but rather “I.” Moreover, he or she does more things on their own, and stops consulting you about future plans.
Posted by BB at 9:17 AM 0 comments
Labels: precautions, relationships
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The Difference Between Men and Women in a Relationship
A successful relationship is one that recognizes that difference and is able to get beyond the he said/ she said scenarios. Here are some notable variations.
Difference in solving problems – Both sexes are capable of solving problems equally well. However, the thought process involved in coming to a resolution varies between men and women. For men, a problem is an opportunity for them to demonstrate their problem-solving skills in a quick and efficient manner. Men see having the problem solved as the ultimate goal and they believe that the best solution is the one that is the quickest as well as the most efficient. Meanwhile, women see a problem as an opportunity to work together and reach a resolution. Women relish the chance to communicate about the problem and the act of working together to solve the problem is more important than actually solving the problem.
Difference in sensitivity – Women have a heightened sense of sensitivity relative to men, resulting to women being more prone to act on their emotions rather than on rational thought. A woman's sensitivity allows her to understand her own feelings as well as those of others better so her reactions tend to take feelings into consideration above logic. However, men do not have the same level of sensitivity and therefore are more likely to make their decisions based on logic. This disparity can result in problems during a relationship because women assume that men intentionally tried to hurt their feelings while men may grow frustrated if he believes women made an irrational decision.
Difference in memory – Men have a memory that is stronger in situations where they can recall the details of an event by making an association with something concrete like a location or item. For instance, men are more apt to remember an event that took place in a location that they are able to visualize well. Women, on the other hand, have a memory that is stronger when they are able to associate the emotions felt with that memory to other memories where they have similar emotions. This type of memory is especially problematic because when women become angry with their partner, they are often able to recall other situations where men have angered her. Unless the difference in memory is recognized, it can become a source of frustration in a relationship.
Difference in communication style – Men tend to be more introspective about their problems and choose to deal with them internally and without discussing them with their partner. When they do decide to discuss a problem, it's usually after much thought and careful consideration. Meanwhile, women enjoy conversing about their problems with their partner and believe that doing do helps them to understand their problem better and come to a solution more easily. Women often use communication as a method for reaching a conclusion, and view the discussion as a way to figure out a solution.
Posted by BB at 8:16 AM 0 comments
Labels: relationships, tips
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Meeting your Online Date
Be at your best, but still yourself – Just like how honest you are when you describe yourself in the online dating profile, you should also relax your style and be yourself. However, you should not forget to look your best. Men should get a haircut and a clean shave (if needed), while women should have their hair done, nails manicured, and nicely made-up. After all, your first meeting with your online date creates a new set of first impressions. Choose comfortable clothes that suits your style.
Choose a public place – Make sure that your first meetings should always be on a public place such as a park, coffee shop, or at a quiet bar. Public places somehow make you feel secured.
Keep your date short – Your first date with your online fling should not necessarily begin with a dinner or a movie. A brief lunch break or a short coffee stop (up to an hour) is long enough to know more about your online date in the “real world” setting, as well as judge for yourself on each other's chemistry.
Mind your language – Not only you are judged according on how you look and what you say, but also on how you say it. Be aware of your use of words, as well as your non-verbal communication such as posture and manners.
Anticipate for the unexpected – Even if you have exchanged e-mails or talked over the phone several times, chances are you might end up disappointed towards your online date once you meet him or her in the flesh. You might realize that you do not have the chemistry or connection that you are seeking towards your date. In case this happens, tell your date that you won't stay long. Make up an excuse if you have to. However, be honest to your date that you do not feel that connection (but be cordial and friendly about it).
Maintain good eye contact – Keep your eyes set towards your date. Glancing about the room gives the impression that you are not really interested.
Ask and listen – Take your time to understand what your date is saying before asking an appropriate follow-up question. The most interesting people are those who are interested in you.
Call the person by their name – Leave each other's chat nicknames on the Net. In real life, you are supposed to call your date by his or her name. It shows some respect to your date.
Be enthusiastic – Stay positive throughout the date and have a sense of humor. Don't take things too seriously. Remember that this date is supposed to be relaxed, taking your date to a friendship level before considering other possibilities.
Follow-through after the date – Whether or not the date is a success, you need to send a thank you e-mail to your date. If you're certain that the person has zero chance of going out with you in the future, just say thanks and tell that you are not interested with him or her. If the date went well, say thanks and that you are looking forward for another date.
Posted by BB at 8:12 AM 0 comments
Labels: date, online dating, tips
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Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Online Dating Precautions
Don't give out personal information – This includes your last name, home or work address, phone numbers, bank account data, and other sensitive details. Sometimes, scammers who steal other people's bank savings may disguise themselves into singles looking for love through the Internet.
Don't afraid to ask – On the Internet, people can pretend to be someone else. It's not easy to determine if someone is being honest since you have no visual, vocal, or body language to analyze, even if you have webcams and voice chats. It is okay to ask the other person for proof of important matters like job status, educational degrees, and others.
Do not use your phone to call – Heaing your date's voice erases a level of anonymity. However, it is best not to use your own phone when calling. Use a payphone instead to avoid problems with caller ID. If you and your date have a voice chat program in your computer (such as Skype or Yahoo! Messenger with Voice), you can talk to your date for free.
Listen and analyze your date's voice – It is best to talk with the person either through online or phone several times before meeting face-to-face. You can learn a lot about someone's personality by hearing his or her voice and how they talk. Be cautious if you feel that the other person is trying to manipulate you or making up answers just to please you. Also, watch out for signs of anger and frustration while getting to know them over the Net.
Never meet the person alone – It is best to meet the other person on a public place. Never go overseas just to meet this other person (unless you deeply trust him or her). You can bring along a friend, or tell a friend about your date beforehand.
Posted by BB at 2:08 AM 0 comments
Labels: date, online dating, precautions, tips
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