Enter your email address:  

Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationships. Show all posts

Thursday, July 5, 2007

Should You Go Back to Your Ex?

One day, you received a call from your ex and he or she asks you to go out. Apparently, your ex misses you and wants you back. It may be so sudden, but you need to think quick in order to resolve this issue.
Do not be too emotional about it – It is easy to remember all of the good times and totally forget about all of the bad things because you have an emotional void that you need to fill. Don't be blind and don't trust too soon. Besides, perhaps your ex wanted you back as a friend.

Evaluate your reality check – Do you have a reason to believe that thing will be completely different if the two of you decide to to get back together? Relationships can easily be compared to a plate: Once it's broken, it's hard to put it back together.

See if both of you can compromise more – Meeting halfway is a common problem in relationships, as sometime either the two of you wanting to do things his or her way. If you would remain unbending to your ex, then why should you become lovers again?

Follow your gut feel – If you have any doubts about getting back with your ex, then you probably should not.

Rememer the reason it didn't work out the first time – People rarely change. Getting back together might just make you upset a second time. Think back about the issues that you have had. Would they reoccur? Would you handle them differently?

Don't let your ex manipulate you by making promises – “I promise I'd change” is probably overused by exes. Remember to keep your cool and your emotions intact when dealing with your ex.

Get back with your ex for the right decisions – Remember that if you're thinking of getting back together just to fill the lonely time or because you are scare to stay single, you'll reduce the chances of you ever attracting someone who is perfect for you.

Heating up the Romance

Tired of the same routine? Have you forgotten the last time you were with your spouse alone? Thinking of spicing up the romance? It looks like the perfect time for you and the hubby to have a romantic getaway together. Even with the kids underfoot and your jobs and chores threatening to overtake you, there is still time for a romantic night with just you and your husband. Your marriage doesn't have to take a backseat to your daily responsibilities. A happy marriage requires some time together. Just because you are married doesn't mean that the romance has to fizzle. Here are some tips to make date night magical, even if it is only for one night a week.

Plan your date. The rules for dating still count. Having a plan for your date will make it a success. If you are going on a picnic plan on where you will leave your kids. Make dinner reservations at your restaurant.

Create the mood. If you have babies and can't leave the house, there are still ways to create that romantic setting. Set up your dinner in front of the fireplace. Set some candles in your bedroom and have dinner there.

Get out of the house. Let's face having your date night at home doesn't make it much of a date. Being at home will remind you of the kids and other matters when you should be concentrating on your spouse.

No entertainment that requires you to face the same direction. Talking and being together is the main purpose of date night. You are each other's entertainment for the evening. Just be together. If you are going to watch a movie or a play make sure you talk to each other over dinner about it.

Don't bring the entire family. Why go out at all if you're just bringing the kids along? Date night is just for you and your spouse. Don't attend anything social.

Schedule an entire night. Tell your babysitter or your oldest child that you'll be gone an entire evening.

Dress the part. It might help the mood if you dress up for date night. You'll be able to surprise your hubby and you'll feel good about getting out of your sweats for an evening.

Play your song. This may sound overly cheesy but request the band to play your song. If your husband doesn't remember it anymore, why don't you remind him?

Eliminate any distractions. Don't bring your cell phones. Don't even think of turning on the television or answering the door.

Be creative. Instead of doing the usual dinner out why not try something new? Go boating or go to the local fair. Take a nature hike. Just focus on each other.

Date night can help transform your marriage but only if you are both in the spirit of it. Try to connect with your spouse. Make date night a weekly ritual. Date night might lead to more interesting things later on.

How to Break Up

Breaking up is rarely easy. You both have feelings for each other at one point, and maybe you still do. And when it's time to end the relationship, sometimes things get out of hand. The key is to do it maturely, without deliberate pain, in order for both of you move on with your lives and find someone better suited for each other.
Acknowledge that the relationship is really over – Come to terms with your own feeling and make a firm decision to end the relationship.

Be honest – Although break-ups can be really hard on relationships, honesty salvages any possible future friendships.

Do not delay the inevitable – Once you decide to break up with your partner, think immediately on how, when, and where you will take action. Do not drag out a pointless relationship.

Select a private place – Breaking up is not a public affair. A secluded area in the park or your partner's house can do. Find or schedule an appropriate time to meet and be alone with your partner as you tell him or her the bad news.

Never break up on the phone – Not only it is rude, it also gives an impression that you took the relationship for granted.

Approach the topic when both of you are calm and rational – Never break up right after an argument (you might regret it later on). Also, announcing a break up in heated moments would just make the fighting worse.

Deliver the news personally – Tell your partner that you feel that this relationship on its current level needs to end.

Be firm and decisive – Help your partner understand why you want to end the relationship. Remember to be tactful, not brutal.

Be grateful of your partner – Remind him or her that you'll never forget the positive qualities in your relationship, but emphasize that you're ready to move on with your life.

Give your partner closure – He or she needs to accept the break-up. Answer questions and talk it over instead of leaving loose ends. Stay positive as you both make plans to go your separate ways.

More often than not, breaking up is as hard on the person ending the relationship as it is on the person being broken up with. Don't assume just because a person is breaking up with you means that they no longer care about you. Remember that caring about the person is different from wanting a relationship with the person.

How to Tell Someone I Love You

Telling someone you love them can be both the hardest and the easiest thing to say. Basically, to truly let someone see that you love them you simply need to make them feel loved. And if you really do love them, doing this should come naturally.

Plan the day - Think about when and where you want to tell her. Is there a special place you want to be? A certain day? Do you want to plan something special or just something simple.

Prepare yourself - Set your mood and be romantic. Buy her flowers or a romantic gift. Prepare a dinner with candles or a picnic with a bottle of wine.

Open your feelings - Tell your partner how you feel being with them, and how much you enjoy your time together. Be specific about what you really appreciate about being with them.

Look directly your partner - take your partner hand and tell them how positive you feel about them. Tell them what are the things you really like. Be honest and sincere.

Be prepared to your partner answer - Prepare yourself mentally and emotionally for your partner response if you are not sure it feels the same way about you.

Make your partner feel special - You can show your partner that you love them by simple things like spend quality time together, cuddle in bed at night and talk together. You can also send a sweet card or email to your partner during the day.

How To Improve Your Love Relationship

What's the key to successful relationships? A couple relationships may be the most important in your life. It is often the main relationship in people's lives; it is the basis of a family and this is the place where most of us learn about love, commitment, communication, negotiation and compromise.

Quality time - Without quality time, your relationship will not survive. Try to have one evening out per week, just the two of you. If you have children this is more difficult to arrange – but it’s not impossible. And do try when you have this ‘date’ to avoid talking about your offspring or your work.

Security - A good relationship is built on compromise and a great deal of give and take on both sides.

Independence - Keep your dependence in balance. Tell and show your partner how much you need him, but don't strangle them, because you will make your partner feel trapped.

Communication – Women should explain, early in your relationship, exactly how to give you a fail-safe orgasm. Same thing for men, you should explain early in your relationship what do you prefer and how would you like your partner do it.

Support - Encourage your partner to listen to you, by showing appreciation when it does. Remember that most men aren't mentally programmed for conversation in the way women are. They need more silence and internal time.

Do not control - When conflict occurs, you should open to learning about yourself and your partner and discover the deeper issues of the conflict. Don’t try to win, or at least not lose, through some form of controlling behavior. When you try to control you create even more conflict.

Take care of yourself - It’s very sad that couples often stop making an effort with how they look. A small thing can transform a routine into more of an occasion.

Knowing If the Relationship is Over

Sometimes it is hard to tell if the relationship is really over. You have to make sure that you want to end the relationship because the person is not compatible to you after all, not because you are afraid of commitment. There are signs to help you understand where you should stand. If these signs are not obvious to you, check out some of the hints we have listed.
The relationship has become one-sided – A couple should compromise each other. If you feel as if you're doing all the work in the relationship, it's time to talk on amending it or break up.

The chemistry is gone – The two of you have become out-of-sync. Your conversations are not that alive as it used to be and the intimacy just doesn't feel the same.

Your partner prefers to hang out with others – You've used to the times when you dine together or having good time together, but if he or she is starting to enjoy the company of his or her friends more—or worse, with other singles—then your relationship has a problem.

The feeling of longing is gone – Do you find yourself feeling relieved whenever you part company?

You don't feel accepted and appreciated by your partner – Your partner begins to complain about things you do or quarrels with you for no apparent reason.

Your partner has become overly emotional – Your partner still loves you, but he or she has become jealous, obsessive, and even possessive about you. If you notice this, consider the extra burden you would carry in dealing with those behaviors in the coming months.

Your partner has hurt you – Any form of physical and emotional abuse is an absolute sign that you should break the relationship.

Ending a relationship is never easy, regardless of whose fault it is. If you loved your partner with all your heart and soul, it can be devastating to see him or her go. However, if you suspect that the romance has reached a dead end, do not hesitate to speak up.

Once separated, you need all the support you can get from your family and friends. Don't be afraid to cry, and don't be afraid to fall in love again either.

Reawaken Your Passion

Relationships tend to lose passion as it goes on, and you may need to make a conscious effort to re-ignite the spark in your bond and reawaken the passion for each other. It may take elaborate plans and gestures, and sometimes it may be small, seemingly insignificant things that can help you ignite your passion anew.

Plan a romantic getaway – A trip to a spa or a romantic destination can help put the passion back in your relationship. This type of trip gives the couple an opportunity to step away from their everyday lives and spend some time focusing on romance.

Treat your partner with respect – Sometimes people get in the habit of taking their partner for granted while they continue to treat complete strangers and casual acquaintances with respect. Make an effort to impress your partner to help revive the passion.

Do something new and adventurous – Try an activity that you have never done before like skydiving or surfing. Participating in an adventurous sport can make you feel more alive, transcending into your relationship.

Hold hands – This simple act draws you and your partner closer together. Most couple hold hands all the time early in their relationship, but as time goes by they begin to do so less and less often. Grab your partner's hand and hold on while you run errands can make your partner feel desired again.

Plan date nights – Spend some time getting dressed-up and plan a night out on the town. Putting this level of effort into a dinner date makes it feel much more special and romantic, plus it gives you a chance to let your partner know that you are still interested in spending time with them. No matter how busy your week is, plan to have at least one night a week where the two of you connect in a special way, even if it's just some quiet time at home after the kids go to bed or even a family game night with the kids.

Take care in you own appearance – If you feel good about yourself, you will be more appealing to your partner. Spend a few extra minutes getting ready to go out and really pamper yourself. This will give you a confidence boost in your relationship.

Compliment your partner – Noticing when your partner puts extra effort into their appearance lets them know that you still find them desirable and attractive.

Plan trips you would like to take – Spend an afternoon thinking of trips you would like to take together and make a list of all the places you want to go and all the things you want to do.

Spend some quiet time together everyday – Plan on having at least a few minute alone with your partner each day to help put the spark back into your relationship. Take time to reconnect with your partner.

Take a bath together – This is a very sensual activity that makes you both feel pampered and gives you the opportunity to reconnect on a physical level. Beyond that it can also give you a chance to relax and unwind after a hard day of work and sometimes it's the stresses of everyday life that are putting a damper on passion.

Making Long-Distance Relationships Last

Long-distance relationships share the same facts as an average relationship. It involves two people who share an interest in each other's lives, care for one another, and of course have a mutual love for each other that they hope will only continue to grow. A long distance relationship has just as much chance as succeeding as any other relationship. All it takes is to follow these steps.
Make an agreement – Set parameters on what both of you expect in the relationship and how much of a commitment you are willing to give and receive. Be clear about what you both want is extremely important to prevent future misunderstandings and mistakes.

Keep in touch daily – Long distance relationships should not follow the motto “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” Just like in regular relationships, constant communication is needed to keep your interests towards each other alive. If large phone bills are a concern, try sending e-mails. Pay attention to how many times a week you are staying in touch as well.

Plan your reunions – Seeing each other once in a while plays a big part in keeping your relationship exciting, plus it serves you the satisfaction of being able to see and touch each other occasionally. It gives you the opportunity to catch up on each other's lives in person and to be able to share physical and intimate activities together, which will fulfill both of your needs and desires.

Reaffirm your love and commitment to one another – Try not to assume that the relationship is thriving. Listen to your partner's concerns and communicate your own before they become bigger problems.

Keep your partner informed about your life – You may live separately, but sharing information about your activities and friends is still important.

Trust each other – Trust is a major necessity if you wish to have your relationship from a distance. Without trust and honesty, the relationship is in for danger, just as it would be in any other relationships. Suspicion over your partner would only break the relationship down.

Keep the relationship a high priority – Avoid canceling reunions or putting off phone calls.

Set a limit of your time apart – This is a wise thing to do if you do not want to end up waiting forever. There will come a time when you and your partner will have to start planning a serious future, which can only happen when you are living in the same area.

Signs of Cheating

There is no such thing as a perfect relationship. So even if you might be in love with whom you thought as your better half, there's always a chance that he or she may be cheating on you. Contrary to what you may think, you might not be the center of your partner's universe after all.

If you sense that your partner is cheating, you'll have to start paying attention, as she'll likely cover his or her tracks better than a practiced thief. Here are several signs that your boyfriend or girlfriend might be spreading the love around too much and, while they may not at all imply that he or she is in fact cheating on you, serve as a warning that something is amiss with your relationship.

Loss of sex drive – Unless your partner has been in intense stress from work, then a sudden loss of interest in sex may indicate that your loved one is getting it elsewhere.

Defensiveness – A cheating partner usually feels bad deep inside him or her and this guilt can come out through being defensive or placing the blame on you. Examples of defensiveness include when your partner refuses to answer even the simplest and fairest questions, only answering them only after repeating them back to you, or when your partner would question your queries about his sudden change of schedule. You should also look for signs of aggressiveness from your partner.

Too much excuses – This may sound too obvious, but comments about needing to work late, having to take a business trip, or needing to unexpectedly meet with a client, can all be signs of cheating.

Telephone hang-ups – There would be times that your partner's new liaison is bold enough to call your home number. If you answer the phone, the caller would hang up, but not if your partner answers the cal. Watch out for frequent hang-ups.

Showering you with unexplained gifts – Besides defensiveness, your cheating partner may try to throw you off track by being extra nice. Flowers, chocolate, and other gifts that are given on ordinary days could be a sign of cheating.

Your partner detaches from your family – The fact that he or she no longer wants to attend family functions or hang out with your friends may be indicative of “cheater's remorse.” He or she may feel guilty enough about cheating as it is, and having to face your friends and relatives may be just another painful reminder of those sins. The less time your partner immerses in your circles, the less mental anguish he or she will have to endure.

Your partner begins to point out your every flaw – Gone are the days when the two of you could communicate with such harmonious precision. Lately, every sentiment you express would set your partner off, as he or she finds any excuse to last out at you.

A mysterious friend inches his or her way into the picture – Whether it's someone she claims is a co-worker, or an old friend from “way back,” your partner keeps this friendship under wraps and is hesitant in sharing any general details about them, much less introduce you.

You feel a shift in your partner's daily priorities – Suddenly, there are no more implied Sunday dates at the movies, or something always comes up on your dance class. There is a tendency for most philanderers to schedule meetings with their new flame as often a they can, resulting in a complete disregard for previous engagements.

Your partner's sudden change of style – Remember that just as you tried to impress each other in the beginning of your relationship, so too will your partner have a sudden urge to improve his or her fashion style, or alter physical appearance for the other person.

Your partner slowly breaks away – A big sign that something has gone awry comes when he or she becomes more autonomous. Your partner doesn't say “we” anymore, but rather “I.” Moreover, he or she does more things on their own, and stops consulting you about future plans.

The Difference Between Men and Women in a Relationship

Just like when they say “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus,” the opposite sex are literally polar opposites when it comes to relationships, especially in thought process, sensitivity, memory, and communication.

A successful relationship is one that recognizes that difference and is able to get beyond the he said/ she said scenarios. Here are some notable variations.

Difference in solving problems – Both sexes are capable of solving problems equally well. However, the thought process involved in coming to a resolution varies between men and women. For men, a problem is an opportunity for them to demonstrate their problem-solving skills in a quick and efficient manner. Men see having the problem solved as the ultimate goal and they believe that the best solution is the one that is the quickest as well as the most efficient. Meanwhile, women see a problem as an opportunity to work together and reach a resolution. Women relish the chance to communicate about the problem and the act of working together to solve the problem is more important than actually solving the problem.

Difference in sensitivity – Women have a heightened sense of sensitivity relative to men, resulting to women being more prone to act on their emotions rather than on rational thought. A woman's sensitivity allows her to understand her own feelings as well as those of others better so her reactions tend to take feelings into consideration above logic. However, men do not have the same level of sensitivity and therefore are more likely to make their decisions based on logic. This disparity can result in problems during a relationship because women assume that men intentionally tried to hurt their feelings while men may grow frustrated if he believes women made an irrational decision.

Difference in memory – Men have a memory that is stronger in situations where they can recall the details of an event by making an association with something concrete like a location or item. For instance, men are more apt to remember an event that took place in a location that they are able to visualize well. Women, on the other hand, have a memory that is stronger when they are able to associate the emotions felt with that memory to other memories where they have similar emotions. This type of memory is especially problematic because when women become angry with their partner, they are often able to recall other situations where men have angered her. Unless the difference in memory is recognized, it can become a source of frustration in a relationship.

Difference in communication style – Men tend to be more introspective about their problems and choose to deal with them internally and without discussing them with their partner. When they do decide to discuss a problem, it's usually after much thought and careful consideration. Meanwhile, women enjoy conversing about their problems with their partner and believe that doing do helps them to understand their problem better and come to a solution more easily. Women often use communication as a method for reaching a conclusion, and view the discussion as a way to figure out a solution.